The Birth Plan?

After hearing about Beyonce’s Birth Plan I decided I too needed some kind of strategy for the arrival of our Lovebug. Although I did not require a special security force to be present, we did have somewhat of an idea how we wanted things to go.

As each week and appointment passed I thought it was a little strange that my doctor wasn’t asking me questions about my Birth Plan. Well, now I know why. For people like me there is no such thing as a Birth Plan. The plan is to just get the kid out in one piece by any means necessary.

My plan was to let nature take its course in a relaxing bubble tub. But I should have known when I was induced at 7am on Monday, March 19 that I was the only one who was aware of the Birth Plan. At 1pm when I still didn’t get things moving along on my own my doctor broke my water. That’s when everything changed. Oh, dear Lord, did those contractions hurt! I tried to hang in there. I really did. But after 12 hours of steady contractions, non-stop pacing, a constant heavy dose of Pitocin and dry heaves I broke down and went for the Epidural at 1am.

The first thing I felt after the Epidural was hunger. After being in that much pain for so long I couldn’t believe that my stomach was the first one to speak up about the situation. But finally, Josh and I both got some rest.

At 5am on Tuesday I lost another battle with my Birth Plan. Jackson was taking an alternate route and was coming out via C-Section. Oh well, by that time I really didn’t care if he came out my nose. We were tired of waiting and just plain tired. At 6:27am on Tuesday, March 20 all 9 pounds and 2 ounces came out absolutely screaming! Best noise I’ve ever heard.

Several hours later Josh confessed that he was relieved when I finally accepted the drugs. I had bruised both of his hands and his feet hurt from walking and standing with me for over 12 hours. He just didn’t want to say anything because I might have had him thrown out of the room for being a panty-waist; considering what I was dealing with.

I've learned my lesson and will know better for next time. There is only one Birth Plan. Have the baby and live to tell about it. Mission accomplished.