Hot Hot Hot

In high school I was making Jalapeno Bread for Spanish class when I managed to get pepper in my eye - I'm awesome like that. My mom had me bent over backwards in the kitchen sink yanking my eyeballs open. I thought for sure I had gone blind. Which brings me to my next story...

We took a stab at gardening this year (written in 2011 but not previously posted). My contribution has been occasional watering and routinely pulling out Josh's jalapeno plant every few weeks because I think it's just another weed.  Somehow one jalapeno plant survived and made a few little pepper guys for us to enjoy.

Despite my advice, Chef Josh did a poor job washing his hands after chopping jalapenos two days in a row. The first incident lead him to a cold shower! The second time he just scratched his back side and lit a real fire under his ass. And of course...I somehow managed to get it in my eye again thanks to his tainted kitchen towel.

Consider this our Public Service Announcement: Use jalapenos with caution. Wear eye protection and don't scratch anything valuable.

The Bates Motel

I, of course, am exaggerating just a bit. But this place in Murdo, South Dakota made me feel like we were visiting The Bates Motel.

Driving home from Oregon we reached out last stop. We saw a billboard for Country Inn with a pool open until midnight and rooms starting at $36. Suspicious from the start, we decided to check out the "uniquely decorated rooms" anyway.

We were greeted in the Lobby/somebody's living room, by a man with black fluffy hair and a perfectly matching mustache. He was polite! But still gave me the Willies. He gave us a virtual tour of the rooms on a display-board of Polaroids and then took us to see the pool. It was heated to 90 degrees because "Mother says anything below 90 isn't suitable for humans."

Our uniquely decorated room had two Queen beds, a bit of 1970's Asian theme  decor, bright red shaggy carpet and a glossy black toilet seat shaped like a sea shell. The biggest perk of all was Mood Music piped into every room.

Thank God Josh loves me enough to just trust my Willies and drive six more blocks and spend an extra $30 at Best Western.


You can see our friendly Tour Guide in the lovely brochure I brought home as a souvenir of the time we survived a visit to The Bates Motel.