I nearly choked to death on a freaking apple.
I was enjoying my lunch, just a few bites in when I choked. I thought I could just wash it down with a swig of milk. Soon I realized that no matter how many times I tried to swallow I still had a mouthful of milk. That’s when I spit my milk back into my glass and gave the international “I’m choking to death signal” to one of my co-workers.
After pounding on the table and grabbing at my throat Nicki turned bright red and declared “Oh, my God. She’s choking!” She jumped up quick and started to give me the Heimlich in the middle of the lunchroom. A crowd began to gather.
One woman wanted to help but upon hearing that I was pregnant AND choking she threw her hands up and backed away.
I really have no idea how long this went on. It was just like the choking scene in Mrs. Doubtfire. Except milk and apple shot out my mouth and nose at the same time. I caught a breath just after the EMT got there before I started choking again. Nicki did a good job but she didn’t heave it all out of me.
Round two of the Heimlich landed an EMT and me with our heads in a garbage can while I made noises I haven’t heard since I fell down the stair in college and knocked the wind out of myself.
I moved into the bathroom where I proceeded to gag a few times. At some point I think my right eyeball popped out of my head. That’s when I discovered that I had milk in my hair, on my pants, it had filled my name badge and 3 buttons on my shirt had come undone.
I returned to the lunchroom with no desire to eat. The EVS attendant had come with a mop to clean up the Bio Hazard.
Needless to say it was the topic of discussion for the entire day. We were visited by the General Manager and the Safety Manager, who thinks my name is Ashley. Nicki was so embarrassed by the ordeal that she declared, “The next person is just going to choke.”
I’ve had to tell this story multiple times. But everyone’s reaction is about the same…
“You have to write this stuff down” Mom
“Can I laugh now?” Chad
“You are truly one of a kind” Aly
“I’m not going to lie. I laughed a little.” Angela
