It's exactly what it sounds like. The Table Rock Lake Enema was the result of a ski boat and a poorly designed inner tube.
The first tube we tried was called the Flying Saucer. We had to exchange it because it took Lucas for a ride like a kite. After becoming airborne and then landing upside down, he resurfaced with bloody elbows.
We traded the Flying Saucer in for a two-man tube. With inflatable seat cushions that weren't well secured, and one bump after another on the wake, it didn't take long before the water was rushing in the bottom of the tube and straight for our butt holes.
Just like the scene from Great Outdoors, my dad and I start yelling "Stop the boat!" Of course, mom can't hear us and keeps right on going. It's not easy keeping water from rushing up your bum at 20 miles per hour. There was only one thing left to do, bail out. We plugged our noses, counted to three and rolled off the side and into the lake. And that's why we call it the Table Rock Lake Enema.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Olive
Memorial Day weekend 2005 my Grandpa and I ventured down to Rhoden Auto to find me a car. I had driven one hoopty after another since I was 15. I finally had a Real Job so the next thing I needed to officially send me off into adult hood was a car payment.
Grandpa was somewhat of a car aficionado. He spent every Monday morning at the car lot telling dirty jokes and eating donuts with his buddies. So I couldn't think of anyone more suited to help me pick out a Brand New Car.
I had few requirements: good gas mileage, a CD player (yeah, there was no iPod then...) and a sun roof. I saw a pretty green one that met my high expectations. Grandpa and I drove it to my parents house that happened to be just across the street from the duplex I lived in. I got my dad's ecstatic seal of approval "Looks ok to me," and purchased my first Brand New Car.
Grandpa must have really known his stuff or I'm one lucky schmuck. My girl Olive just hit 88,888 miles and she's still going strong! Not bad for a pretty thing with a sun roof.
Grandpa was somewhat of a car aficionado. He spent every Monday morning at the car lot telling dirty jokes and eating donuts with his buddies. So I couldn't think of anyone more suited to help me pick out a Brand New Car.
I had few requirements: good gas mileage, a CD player (yeah, there was no iPod then...) and a sun roof. I saw a pretty green one that met my high expectations. Grandpa and I drove it to my parents house that happened to be just across the street from the duplex I lived in. I got my dad's ecstatic seal of approval "Looks ok to me," and purchased my first Brand New Car.
Grandpa must have really known his stuff or I'm one lucky schmuck. My girl Olive just hit 88,888 miles and she's still going strong! Not bad for a pretty thing with a sun roof.
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