Vomit

If you're queasy, please read with caution.

Jackson had been suffering from the squirts for a while, which may have had a little something to do with the incident. However, he's also a notorious over eater (we're working on that) and that might have been the real instigator.

We went to Banana Blossom, a Thai restaurant, for dinner. Jackson ate a very large bowl of ramen noodles followed by two scoops of pistachio ice cream. It all caught up to him when we got home.

Vomit. Vomit like I have never seen. Green. Nickelodeon slime. The volume and projection completely slimed the entire bathroom and it even flowed into the hall. We were trapped inside, surrounded. He yacked on my feet. The rug. The door. An ocean of pistachio noodle soup.

The smell filled the house. Josh threw me a beach towel that we used as a bridge to cross over the vomit river. I had to clean it up but I didn't know where to start!! Do I clean my way back into the bathroom or do I clean my way out? How do you scoop it up? Should I just throw away the rug?

I tried wiping it up with toilet paper and throwing it in the bowl. I tried to used the beach towel to pool it up. I tried paper towels. It was so overwhelming, I took off my pink rubber gloves and called Aunt Laurie.

It was one of those laughs where she thought I was crying.
"Are you busy?"
"Oh my god. What's wrong? Are you ok?"
"I don't know what to do."
"What happened? Amy, what's wrong?"
"Jackson threw up everywhere!!! I've tried everything. There's too much. I don't know what to do. I already threw away the rug. It's so sticky! It's like somebody spilled a pot of chewed up spaghetti. I keep trying to wipe it up but the noodles are just rolling around on the floor!"

I really got the giggles when I looked under the vanity and saw that the force behind his stream of spew was strong enough for the slime to ricochet off the rug and splash vomit up under the vanity and across the base boards. I had to stand on my head to clean that!

More than an hour later, it was finally cleaned up. I closed the door and decided to disinfect and mop in the morning. Do you know that the next day when I was mopping, a dried up ramen noodle fell off the door jam?