Kirn Pool

I've never been skinny. Not even in 1996. So it's no surprise that swimming in PE was one of the lowest points in my life. As if being 14 wasn't difficult enough, our school forced us to sport swimwear in front of our classmates and called it 'recreation.'

The bold and brave ladies of my class used Aunt Flow as an excuse to get out of swimming whenever possible. But being the chickenshit crappy liar that I am, I stuck with the simple "I forgot my suit." You know what happens to people who forget their suit? They give you one from the lost and found! Or worse, when all the suits in the lost and found are too small, you get a Kirn blue team suit from the mid 1970's.

Well, now I've told the lie... I have to stick to it or my PE teacher (Ms. Cook, you know...) will know I'm a liar. So what do I do? I wear the Kirn suit. Because in that moment my pea brain was more worried about getting in trouble for lying than wearing my own damn suit!

I hang my head in shame at this moment looking back to that day. How could I be so stupid? Shame on me for being such a terrible liar. Shame on them for embarassing kids at the most awkward stage of their lives.

If I had it to do all over again I would have skipped class and just gone to Super Saver for a donut.