The Christmas Letter

01 – We rang in the New Year with our friends in Oregon at Cody and Margaret White’s wedding and celebrated the Price Family Christmas. Josh left for school in San Diego and I returned home with Jackson to live with my parents while our house was on the market. 

02 – Josh flew home to surprise me for my 30^th birthday. At my birthday party we surprised everyone else by announcing that I was about five months pregnant. Jackson had an Almost First Birthday party at my parents’ house before we moved to Nevada. It was a great way to say goodbye.

03 – We got settled into our new place in Fallon, Nevada. Jackson had another First Birthday party Easter weekend and Josh’s family drove down to celebrate. I was glad they could all be here to help him learn to walk. After that, he was unstoppable!

04 – My mom came to visit for her birthday. She and Jackson had quite the reunion. When she left he spent quite a bit of time looking for her all over the house. 

05 – We celebrated Mother’s Day in Las Vegas. The trip was a hilarious reality check for us, but we made the best of it despite my contractions from too much walking. Jackson loved the pool at Circus Circus and we visited the Hoover Dam on the way home. 

06 – Oh baby! Silas arrived early on June 21; I wasn’t due until July 6.  Silas was a surprise all around from the very beginning. We didn’t know the sex in advance, but I was shocked to discover that he was NOT a girl!

07 – Back up arrived! I am so thankful that our families were able to visit and help us once Silas was born. Mike and Cammy stayed with Jackson while we were in the hospital. My mom and Aunt Laurie spent their entire vacation doing dishes, laundry and washing diapers. Poor Aunt Laure even got pooped on! My dad came later in July– he was the entertainment. Josh’s sister Amanda and her fiancé Dan came for a weekend and took some amazing newborn and family pictures for us.

08 – All of my family went home and Josh and I learned how to hold down the fort on our own. These boys are hard work! Josh’s Uncle Gerry and his girlfriend Sue came to visit for a few days to meet Silas. 

09 – We celebrated Josh’s 30^th birthday at the bowling alley with a few friends and a lot of Camouflage décor. Josh went to Washington for a week for school and stayed another week for an elk hunting adventure with the men in his family. It was just the boys and I at home for two weeks. Despite Silas having pneumonia, I held it together; but we ate a lot of macaroni and cheese. 

10 – Jason and Mary Price came for Halloween. Their daughter Declynn and Silas shared their first Halloween. Jackson was a football player and Silas was his ball. Jackson wasn’t so much excited about the candy as he was just getting stuff. People could have been handing out rocks…

 

 

11 – We celebrated Mike Price’s 50^th birthday and retirement in Oregon. It would have been a perfect weekend if that darn deer had stayed out of the road… We co-hosted Thanksgiving with our friends Brian and Ashlee Shields. My parents came for the feast and a week of visiting. They had a great time watching Jackson explore at the Nevada Discovery Museum. 

12 – I finally found the right job! I’m the Operations Clerk for the Child Development Center. The commute is about three blocks and both boys are just down the hall from my desk. Jackson seems to be excited for Christmas and looks all over for his Elf on the Shelf every morning.

And a special mention for Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Bob who we didn't get to see this year but have inspired me to write a Christmas Letter!

The Boy's Gotta Eat

Growing up, my brother was the hungriest person I knew. We would sit at Shoney's buffet watching him eat one plate after another. The worst part was when we had all finished, he would go to the bathroom and come back with a hollow leg ready for round two.

Eating was such a priority for this kid that he had to pack snacks for our paper route, only four blocks long. Once he sat on the corner and ate a bowl of cereal. He packed a bowl of Fruit Loops, a thermos of milk and a freaking spoon. We had a Pizza Hut jug that held about a half gallon. It tipped over in the wagon once filled with Kool-Aid and we were forced to deliver a few pink newspapers.

I think my favorite was when he pulled two cold hot dogs out of a fanny pack on a bike ride. Hey, at least he was willing to share!

A Little Too Quiet

I was feeding Silas on the couch and Jackson was being so good! He was playing with his toys. Just sitting there. He was so quiet. And then I realized, wait, he's a little too quite.

Sure enough. The little stinker was finger painting with a whole box of food coloring! It was everywhere. On his clothes. On the floor and the rug. On his face. He even ate some and was chewing on that scary little pointed cap.

I couldn't risk him painting the carpet and walls so I carried him to the tub. As I'm stripping him down I smell the smell. He pooped too! I couldn't put him on the changing table, again, the walls... So I took his diaper off in the tub and put it in the sink.

Of course, why wouldn't there be corn involved. So now I'm picking digested corn off his legs, back and butt. It's at this point that he realizes the end of the tub resembles a slide and goes for a ride. I've never cleaned a tub with toilet paper before.

By the time I get the water running I realize that if this wasn't so damn funny I would have been crying. Lesson learned. If he's awake, it should never be that quiet.

Better Half

I've never said the words My Better Half. It's gaggy, it's cheesey and sometimes it's just not true.

But now I get it. The other person is not the better half of the couple. The other half just makes life better when you are a couple.

In December Josh and I were apart from Christmas to February. It sucked. At some point I just turned into a Crab Apple.

My mom has been staying with us to help with the boys for the last five weeks. Less than two weeks in she started to miss Dad. I almost laughed. Two weeks? Suck it up lady! But now we both understand.

It's scary to think that some day I might have to go months without seeing my husband. I used to think that military should be paid more for this inconvenience. Now that I've been there and done that, even for a short period of time, I know that money wouldn't fix the misery of being separated anyway from your better half.

There She Blows!

When I saw the doctor on June 20 I hadn't felt the baby kick in almost a whole day. She sent us to Labor and Delivery for a Non Stress Test to be sure everthing was ok. After about 20 minutes on the heart and contractions monitor we were reassured that everything was fine and they sent us home.
That night, as I was making Deviled Eggs for a picnic, I thought to myself, "So help me, if I make all these stinking Deviled Eggs and then don't get to go to the picnic because I'm in labor I'm going to be so mad." Apparently that's all the motivation Silas needed to make his entrance, some stinking Deviled Eggs.

At 8am on June 21 I sprang out of bed, I freaking peed my pants! I couldn't stop peeing. Every step I took, there was more pee. I had officially lost control of my bladder. Wait...that's not pee! I sat on the toilet, still in my sweat pants, and started making the calls.  I was glued to the toilet. I had no other options. I felt like Old Faithful.

I was completely unprepared. I had to pack a bag. So I stuffed a kitchen towel in my pants and went to work.

Luckily, my friend Marissa was kind enough to watch Jackson while we went to the hospital. When we dropped him off I was afraid to even step inside. It's bad enough I turned my own bathroom into a Slip and Slide. Could you imagine dripping on someone's floor?

Not only did Marissa watch Jackson for the day, she even made sure those stinking Deviled Eggs made it to the picnic.

Boob Job

So, the other night I'm sitting on the couch with my husband and aunt while breastfeeding Silas. I had an itch on my forehead. Both hands were a little full; one with boob and one with baby. But I leaned in to scratch anyway. Fail. I slammed my face right into my boob. I boob punched myself.

Ten minutes later, sitting there in a nursing stupor, I realize that at some point Silas had detached himself and laid down for a nap. I was so freaking tired I hadn't even noticed. I just sat there holding my boob in my hand. It was like my nipple was watching TV.

Breastfeeding is hard work.

Meet the Kerns

About four years ago, on June 6, to be exact, Josh had the pleasure of meeting my family. The whole family. All at once. I threw a party to celebrate what I thought was the end of my home renovations.

Josh arrived just a wee bit late because he missed the exit to my house and drove half way to Crescent before he could turn around. I was in the kitchen when he got there. I saw him walking down the driveway to the backyard. He was about to walk right into the snake pit. I tried to catch him, but it was too late. He stood on the patio in front of 50 strangers and announced, "Hi, I'm Josh."

Thank goodness he's not one bit shy. It could have been terribly awkward. Most normal people would introduce the person they are dating to their parents in a quiet setting. Oh no, not me! Why not throw a huge party, invite the entire family, all your friends and coworkers? Just rip the Band-Aid off quick.

I'm sure all the booze helped too. By the end of the night Josh had made my brother throw up on the fence during a game of tippy cup, offered my dad a polite explanation on each of his visible tattoos and celebrated my cousin's 21st birthday at the dive bar down the street.

He was awarded the seal of approval by everyone, phew! We all must have made a pretty good impression too. I don't think he would have kept me around if my family sucked. Family tends to be a package deal.

Babies in Vegas

I had a horribly wonderful idea to make one last fun-filled family trip before the baby comes July 1. Since it's only a quick six hour drive, why not spend Mother's Day weekend in Vegas? We kept it family friendly and made reservations for Circus Circus. Although Jackson is too small and I'm too large to ride any of the amusement park rides, I figured there would be plenty for him to see and do.

I researched all the kid friendly activities in Vegas and found that there were more than I expected, and many were free. So, the list of activities included a lion habitat, aquarium, free shows at Treasure Island and Circus Circus and the Bellagio fountains, of course.

We could see Treasure Island was only two casinos away, so we pack up our child, a cocktail, some gun magazines (don't ask...) and started strolling the strip. Forgetting that the Strip is an optical illusion, we made it all of two long blocks before I started having contractions. We immediately purchased a bus ticket as I sat on the bus stop 'bench' and tried to pull it together. And by 'bench' I mean metal rod. I might as well have been sitting on a 2x4.


The bus arrived and we scrambled to get on. At this moment I realized we are 'those people.' We were the morons who brought a baby to Vegas! Josh gets into an altercation with the bus driver about having a stroller in the isle. I'm balancing a very large one year old child on my hip, wearing a diaper bag and hanging onto the stripper pole for dear life.

Saturday morning arrives and all plans have changed. The super fun list of activities is in the garbage and we now have only two goals: hang out at the pool and have Mother's Day Brunch. Like complete fools, we decide to give Treasure Island's pool a try. But this time we were smart enough to drive. We meet up with our friends and head to the pool.

OH DEAR LORD! What in God's name have we gotten ourselves into! Josh rolls into the pool, dad style, with his trunks, white t-shirt and Oakley's, pushing a stroller. Jackson is sporting his best sea turtle swim shirt, crab trunks, swim shoes, monster hat and tiny baby sunglasses - still streaked from head to toe with SPF 50+. And then here I come. The freaking mama caboose of this family vacation pool party train wreck. I'm waddling and sporting the finest maternity swim dress. We're surrounded by hundreds of people, no older than 25. The music is bumping. There's a conga line in the pool. I've never seen such tiny swimwear in my life. I think some of the guys were wearing bikini bottoms. Not one sober person was within 100 yards. I say to Josh "I don't think there's room in this pool for Jackson's swim toys!" We were back at Circus Circus where we belonged faster than you could say Rubber Duck.

On the way home we stopped at Hoover Dam, an Area 54 gas station and a brothel owned by the same guy who owns the Bunny Ranch. We took pictures. Although awkward at times, we made our own fun. But we learned a very valuable lesson - Vegas is for making babies, not taking babies.

Mexican Pile

I know how much some of you enjoy my cooking style. So, like One Big Nacho, I bring you the Mexican Pile. My food isn't fancy. It's just tasty stuff that's easy to make with whatever you have laying around. I cook like a mom.

1 Box of Spanish Rice (prepare as directed)
1 lb ground beef (brown and season with a taco seasoning packet - or whatever you normally use on taco night)
1 can refried beans
1 can enchalada sauce
Shredded cheese (pick whatever variety you like. I don't measure this stuff. I'm convinced a whole bag is the right amount for any recipe)

Cook the rice and put it in a casserole dish. Layer the seasoned beef on top. Mix the beans with 1/2 can of enchalada sauce and spread it over the beefy goodness in the casserole dish. Pour the rest of the enchalada sauce over everything and top with cheese. Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes - just don't burn the cheese.

You can top it with taco goodies on your plate, eat it like a nacho dip or just dig in with a spoon. If you find my directions are incomplete or confusing - just go with your gut and wing it. I don't think you can screw up any recipe that has the word Pile in it.  

Not Far From the Tree

This nut doesn't fall far from the tree. My brother and I were born 13 months apart. Josh and his brother were born about 15 months apart. So really, we just don't know any better.

My mom told me once that she was five months pregnant with my brother before she found out. I asked a boat load of questions...How did you not know? Weren't you hungry? How did your pants fit? She said she figured it out when she was sitting at work and felt a kick. How could anyone be so clueless?

Well let me tell you, it's easier than you think! I was going about my business at work when I barfed up a bad banana. Then, at lunch, someone ate what I thought was a rotten salad.

Just to be on the safe side, I thought I should probably pee on a stick. I borrowed a few from my friend Amanda and headed straight to Angela's house. This particular pee stick was confusing. I dunked it over and over and nothing happened. By the time I realized I had it upside down the whole stick had turned purple. What does that even mean?

Of course, Angela wasn't going to let me go home without an answer, so she dug around in the bathroom closet and found an old test. After chugging enough water to work up a dribble and try again there was an audience. At this point six people had a pretty good idea what I was doing in that bathroom. So I peed on the stick, threw it in my purse, grabbed Jackson and headed for the door! I couldn't let everyone find out before Josh.

The first stop sign I came to on Water Tower Road, I made the call. He may have been in San Diego, but we both found out together. All I said when I looked at the test was, "I hope it's a girl!"

A few days later we found out I was 17 weeks along already. I'm sure the ultrasound tech was a little annoyed by my constant giggles. I suppose it's hard to do that job on a bouncing belly.

How did I miss all the signs? Why did my pants still fit? I suppose I was kind of hungry... It's true. The nut doesn't fall far from the tree.

The Longest Goodbye

I knew this day was coming such a long time ago. I remember sitting in the driveway of my house in Council Bluffs talking to my mom on the phone and bawling. This was long before we said the L word, got married or had Jackson. We had only been together for a few months and I had already realized that I had two choices...dump him now or move away forever. 

Later, months later, Josh got to see all the crazy I had built up inside. He kept talking about "When I move next." I finally burst out in blubbering tears, "Well, just dump me now then, don't wait until later when I will be miserable when you leave." Now I know what he really meant was, "When WE move next..."

I'm sure you all thought we would never leave. I mean, we've only been talking about this move since September 2011. We declared, "We're moving!" three times before we actually left. The date changed. The location changed. We found one delay after another - brain surgery, baby Jackson, etc. But we did it. We finally left. The timing wasn't perfect - but in this case I don't think it would have ever been good. I miss my family. I'm sorry they won't get to see Jackson enough or meet the new baby until months after she is born. I miss my job. But the two most important people are here, so I'm here with them. I'm going to get used to this. This is the first of many long goodbyes, I'm sure.